Fresh little newborn babies, is there anything better? The stage of infancy is so precious and goes by so quickly. Before you know it they are crawling and walking and talking. When you have a newborn, you are not the only one who wants to see them, hold them, and love on them. What a beautiful thing to have a community that loves your new baby almost as much as you do. I want to take a moment to bask in that: if you’re willing, pause. Take a moment to close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths, then think of 5 people that love your baby (almost) as much as you do. What a blessing to have those humans in your life.

Now – Mamas, Papas, and Caregivers – hear me when I say this, you are in control of your family unit and you have a right to participate in community in a way that feels best for your family.

Whether you are having a viewing party, social gathering, or seasonal events are coming up. Here are some ways to manage all the love that is coming your way.

I had a mama recently ask me about how to handle not over committing to events when you have a new baby.

If you’re reading this, I want to give you some permission slips.

First – permission to say “yes” to events when you feel up for it, and “no” when something does not align with you and your family.

Second – permission to change your mind. Share with the host of the event, or your family, that you would love to come but that you will have to let them know day of.

It is PERFECTLY OKAY to change your mind.

If you wake up the morning of the event and attending something does not align with you on that day, cancel. This isn’t “flaking,” this is you intuitively knowing your family needs and then acting on what is best for your family at that moment. It’s near impossible to know what life with a newborn with throw at you a week (or more) in advance – playing things by ear and sharing your needs honestly with the host may be the best way to honor you and your newborn’s needs.

Germs and Illness

Another mom recently asked about how to keep baby safe and away from germs during social gatherings or when your family wants to visit with the baby. A couple thoughts on this…

Wash your hands, please!

Hand washing is a must. The number one way to keep the spreading of germs to a minimum is to wash your hands. Asking friends and family to wash their hands before holding your baby is an easy way to decrease the risk of your newborn picking up adult germs. If you are not in a setting where hand washing is available, the second best option, hand sanitizer, can help as well. Either way, wash those hands!

Adult Illnesses

If a family member is currently sick or has recently been ill, unfortunately holding the baby may not be in the cards for them that day. Ask that they wait to hold the baby. Share with them about RSV and how serious is can be for newborns. Adults can carry RSV with minimal to no symptoms and easily pass this to newborns because their immune system is not as strong as ours yet.

Pass the baby

If you are practicing Conscious or Respectful Parenting, you may not want you baby passed around from friend to friend or family member to family member. If you are not ready to share your “why” behind this preference. Wear your baby. There are SO MANY benefits to baby wearing, a benefit that isn’t discussed in the literature often is the benefit that you are able to move your baby around a social gathering without the risk of others “passing the baby.”

Time and Presence Boundaries

Setting time limits on parties is something that I do for myself as an adult. If I really want to attend something but I know I have been over extended lately, I will commit to myself a time to leave the party.

You can do this for your family too. Share this timing with your close family members, so they know what to expect. Please also know that you don’t have to walk in the door at the party and exclaim – “WE’RE HERE BUT WE’RE ONLY STAYING FOR AN HOUR”… not that you would, but know you don’t owe everyone an explanation.

Agree beforehand with yourself and/or your partner. Maybe you agree to 1-hour at the party.
(Again), permission to change your mind, leave if it’s too much and stay longer if you’re really enjoying yourself.
You also do not have to show up at all — FaceTime into the party to say hello if that day doesn’t align for your family.

Declining Events

Some, including myself, have a difficult time declining invites when something doesn’t align with us. I want to attend everything and I frequently feel like I’m missing out if I decline an invitation.

I can’t say this enough. You know what’s best for your family and you know if there is an invitation you need to decline. So, HOW do we do this if declining invitations is something that comes with difficulty for us.

If you feel an event will be too much for you and your family, you can kindly share,

“Thank you so much for the invite, right now we are getting settled with our new little one and we would love to raincheck for when we’re more settled.”

“Thank you for the invite, it sounds like a blast. We can stop by for an hour around (this time), would that work?”

The Viewing Party

If you’re up for hosting at your place, many parents are also now having “viewing parties” where all the family and friends can come when the baby is a bit older and their immune system is ready. This gets all the visits in during one afternoon and can be less stressful than constant visits or parties.

There are so many ways to set boundaries and choose what is best for your family. Know that boundary setting is uncomfortable for many, and that I applaud you for your recognition and awareness for the need to protect your energy and family unit. Your awareness of this need makes you a stellar caregiver already.

Back to School! The transition from Summer to School can be tough on little ones, and frankly, for the whole family. Whether your child is starting preschool, or headed back to their school in a new classroom – these tips and tricks will help ease the transition period for everyone.

I’ve teamed up the The Sensory Project to bring you these tips and resources for your back to school kids! For more information make sure you listen to their podcast that goes live on August 14th!

In the meantime, if your child has an IEP, listen to their most recent episode, IEPs and Advocating for your Child’s Education.

Tips for the Summer to School Transition

Make the Trip

If your child’s new school offers a “meet and greet” day where kids can go see their teachers, classroom, and school, take advantage of it! Allowing a child to see where they will be spending a lot of their time can be helpful and ease their worries.

When we know what to expect, we can more easily regulate. I think of this as seeing an office I will be working in before my first day on a new job. Or, when I’ve spoken to large groups in the past, it eases my worries to see the space I will be speaking in before hand – same concept for little ones.

If your school does not offer this, call the office and ask when a good time would be to bring your child for a tour of the school. You don’t need an official tour — just walking around the school and pointing out the important landmarks can be helpful (library, gym, classroom, playroom, etc.) If you can have your child meet their teacher(s) before hand, even better!

Picture It

When you make the trip to school, take photos of the different classrooms and areas your child will be spending time. Print off these photos and put them into an album or make a small book for your child. Flip through the book with them and allow them to review it on their own as well. Visually processing what life will look like day to day at school can help ease worry and ease them into the back to school routine.

Focused Time

I won’t get into my feelings on the requirements of young children in terms of attention spans for school – but depending on your child’s age, they may be expected to focus on an activity for X amount of minutes. Work up to this at home before school starts.

For example if they need to be able to spend 10 minutes in circle time, or 30 minutes doing table top activities – start at home with 2 minutes, 5 minutes, then work up to the time they will need pay attention for school.

Make the activities preferred activities they enjoy. Mix it up! If they love to pretend, play “school” and include yourself and siblings, everyone taking a turn to pretend to be the teacher.

Back to School Shopping

Include your child in any back to school shopping. Clothing, supplies, whatever – if they are able to help choose their new supplies and clothing, it can give them a sense of grounding and confidence to brave the new world of school.

If this is not in your budget this year, taking them thrifting and pick up a couple new t-shirts and a pack of pencils. I am always amazed what I find when I pop into a Goodwill or Kid to Kid consignment store.

Good Mornings

Start the morning school routine 1-2 weeks before school starts. This may look like (during the week) family is up at the time they will need to be for school, dressed, breakfast, all in time to get to a fun summer activity like the pool, museum, park – anything.

Getting the morning routine down before the first week of school can make the transition to early mornings a little easier for the whole family.

Tools for Back to School

The Sensory Project and I came up with this list for things that can help children with sensory needs (or without) transition back into and enjoy school!

T-stool/Wobble Seat
Pencil Grips
Fidgets
Lap Pad
Weighted Vests (Take the Weighted Vest Quiz)
ARK Chewy Pencil Toppers
ARK Vibrating Pencil
Essential Oil Bracelets
Under Chair Theraband
Blue Light Blocking Glasses
Visual Schedule (use code: thesensoryproject208)
School Sensory Diet (use code: thesensoryproject208)
Velcro under table for fidget
Noise Cancelling Headphones
Loop Scissors
Hungry Cutters
Rock Crayons
Zones of Regulation Visual for Classroom

If you are unsure if your child would benefit from one of these items, please reach out to Rachel at The Sensory Project or myself – or work with a licensed occupational therapist in your area.

Photos courtesy of, npr.org, potterybarnkids.com, amazon.com, thesensoryproject.com. When you click affiliate links in this email and you make a product purchase, re:born collective may get a small percentage from your purchase at no additional cost to you.

Playing with a baby from 1-4 months may seem either strange or straight forward. They’re a baby, do they play? Don’t they just eat, sleep, poop, repeat? Well, yes, AND – although baby play may look like a lot of laying around and putting things in their mouth – babies actually only have one job to do, and that is play!

Here are some ideas of how to play with your baby, from months 1-4.

1 month

Read black and white books to them

At this age the high-contrast is what your baby needs for their vision and cognitive development. Check out Baby See app to see what your baby sees (IT IS SO COOL!), did you know their vision develops over time? They actually can’t see you walk in the door at this point… although they may smell your breast or the bottle from a mile away!

Install a Mobile in Their Room

Mobiles can be over the crib or over the changing table. Mobiles allow their visual skills to develop among other skills. Read more about mobiles here…

Tummy Time

At this age, Tummy Time on your chest (laying down or reclined) can be a great play and bonding activity – this allows tummy time to happen while bonding. Bonding is SO important at this time. Bonus if it’s skin to skin time!

Watch this video for ideas on how to sneak in Tummy Time with various positions – it does not have to be on the floor at this age!!

Become a Chatty Cathy (or a Singing Susan)

Many don’t think their baby can understand them, but they understand you more than you may realize – they have been inside your body, hearing your voice for months. Talking to them helps them develop their cognition and language, AND continues to helps with bonding. Sing like no one is listening, they don’t care if you’re in pitch. In fact, did you know the brain processes words differently whether they are sung or spoken? So sing away and chat it up! Both help with development in different ways.

2 months

Keep the conversation going

Keep talking to them, make silly noises, describe what you are doing while you are doing it. It may seem silly, but babies’ consciousness is there and they would love for you to share what you are doing to them – diaper changes and baths are a necessity but can be done in a comforting and fun way if they know you are present with them. When they are sad or upset because they are tired or hungry, or both — tell them you see them, you know what they need, and you are working on it!

Support them in playing in side-lying position

SO MANY benefits from side-lying — Tummy Time overshadows this position but I honestly feel it is just as beneficial! Hand to mouth coordination, reaching, rolling — benefits are endless. Watch some examples and learn more here.

Continue Tummy Time

Either on your chest or on the floor. If you choose the floor, get on the floor with them. They will enjoy being on their tummy so much more if you are with them reassuring them they are okay. If they aren’t feeling brave enough yet to be that separate from you, it is okay. Continue the modified Tummy Time positions from the video linked above.

3 months

Start Rollin’!

In Tummy Time, side-lying, and while baby is on their back — place toys on each side of your baby to encourage them to roll! Place the toy just out of reach and see what your baby does. Now, of course, we’re not teasing the baby, but challenging them just a bit to turn their head, look at a toy, and maybe possibly considering reaching for it – these all can be great ways to encourage rolling and motor development. To really encourage rolling, while the baby is on their back, hold a toy 6″ or so from their face and slowly move toy to baby’s right or left, allowing them to follow with their eyes and head — then, once baby starts to move their upper body to reach for the toy, support their hips to help them finish the roll. For more info on what this looks like – reach out to me directly.

Book Reading and Language

Read books to baby – this is a must for all ages, but with their vision developing and their increased interest in interacting with objects, books can be so fun at this age. Introduce them to a nighttime routine to create a more established bedtime routine to encourage regulation for sound sleep.

When baby coos or makes noise, coo back! Babies feel seen when their loved ones reciprocate their sounds and efforts to communicate. This will increase not only their cognition and language skills, but also will encourage a beautiful bond between you and baby.

4 months

Everything in The Mouth

Everything, straight.to.the.mouth! Allow this to happen and just accept the drool as much as you can. Babies benefit so much from oral exploration. Buy toys they can mouth and explore with – teething toys with various textures, they even make ones you can freeze!

Cause and Effect

Cause and effect toys like rattles and light up button toys are a hit at this age – make sure the toys you are purchasing make your baby work for the “effect” and try to avoid toys that sing a song when the wind blows. I call these “passive” toys – this will also save your sanity from hearing the same song x100,000 times, including in your sleep…

That’s it! I love to hear from you! How do you play with babies who are 1-4 months old? What did your little one like when they were that age? Did they have a favorite toy?

Keep an eye out for play ideas for babies 4+!

If you have not yet read the My Beef With Chemicals Blog – start there first. It will guide you through my research on chemical product safety, safe products and give you an idea on why all of this is so important.

One more thing — I am doing a weekly giveaway (January 6th-March 28th) where you can win many of these products! Sign-up here for the giveaway and message me with questions!

After finding all of the research (and then processing it all) I began my journey to start making a safer switch to chemically safe products. BUT, I didn’t do it all at once because I could not afford it. Quality products come at a little bit of a higher cost. I would have liked to throw everything I was using out and replace it with safe products, but this had the potential to cost me hundreds of dollars. So, I decided to make a gradual switch by using products until they were empty, then when I bought new, I bought safer.

THEN, last year — I was forced to go all in. Last year I discovered I have autoimmune issues and I struggled for months to get them under control. During this time, any products that remained in my home with harmful chemicals were out — some of them literally went down the drain.

Making the 100% safe switch proved difficult — navigating the world of chemicals in our country is hard! Information is hidden, and labels do not list everything because companies are legally not required to do so.

So — I had to do my own research on every single product every time I bought something. Not to mention I had to try the product to see if I liked it and it worked! I cannot tell you how many “chemical free/organic” deodorants, toothpaste, shampoos, candles, (ETC. ETC. ETC.) my family and I have tried and how many I have thrown out because they just didn’t work, or the smelled horrible.

Since getting my autoimmune issues under control, I have become so passionate and inspired to help others reduce the chances of having these symptoms and issues. As an Occupational Therapist, I have seen the impact skin absorption of harmful chemicals and environmental toxins can have on kids’ and adults’ physical/mental health and behavior – and I am passionate to educate others about it. I have seen children’s neurological systems and behavior completely shift just from shifting which products they are using and their environments. As a friend, I have seen those close to me make changes to clean products, and the swap has changed their lives drastically — even getting rid of their eczema and balancing their hormones.

And all of this is not without hope, it only takes a few days for your body to process these chemicals out of your system! — great news!

Please let me know if you have questions or I can help. There are many efforts (some of which I have joined) to get safer product protection bills passed, but until then it’s up to us to keep ourselves safe.

Here are some of the brands/products I have found to be “clean/safe” and actually work. I am not sponsored by any means by any of these companies — I just want to share with you what works.

Full disclosure, because I believe being clear is being kind: I am a member of Young Living (which means you can order through me without signing up! score) and I am a “consultant” for Beautycounter because I love their company. They advocate in Congress for better chemical safety laws, and their products are 100% clean, and EWG certified — AND I get a huge product discount for signing up.

I’m not here to sell you anything, and if you ask me questions, I will not try to get you to sign-up for anything. I do not like being “sold to” and that is not what I’m here to do. I am here to share. Outside of YL and BC — I have no ties to these companies other than just being a big fan.

Body

Avalon Organics was one of the first “clean” products I found and we’ve been using them ever since. Their body washes and shampoo are great. I use Beautycounter for my hair products and B uses Avalon. For lotion, I love the Lotion from Everyone Products and the Beautycounter body butter is my go-to when we’re in Colorado (it’s very dry here!).

Nail Care

Detoxing my nail care products was one of the easier switches because it’s about the same price. I love everything Zoya, but the Karma Organics brand has my heart. Their Lavender Soybean Oil Polish Remover is fantastic — it’s moisturizing for cuticles instead of dehydrating, and the bottle I have now has lasted me 4 YEARS!

Make-up

I used to use whatever I got from Ulta/Sephora. I used all the brands; Tart, TooFaced, Urban Decay, etc. But with all of toxins I had to quit. Beautycounter is one of the brands I trust now for make-up, beauty, and things like lotion. They are EWG Verified and they have the highest quality standards in the industry. I don’t have to research every product I buy from Beautycounter because I trust them as a company! They are B Corp certified, and they lobby in Congress for industry-wide changes. win win win.

I’ve also used and liked Juice Beauty and Honesty Beauty! You will need to research each individual product because not all are clean. I really like both of their foundations, though!

Toothpaste

There are so many toxins in toothpaste — and we put it right in our mouths at least twice a day. Natures Gate is the best toothpaste we’ve found so far and we have tried many! Some were real grainy or they weren’t “minty enough” according to the husband (he’s my biggest quality control guy). So far this one is the best!

And while we’re on the topic of oral care… I started a search for BPA free toothbrushes and it ended with my finding these bamboo ones on amazon . To be completely honest, my husband hates these and it took me a week or so to get used to them. BUT! — once I did I love them now. They come in cute packs of 4 and I never feel bad about throwing out a toothbrush now because they are 100% biodegradable! yesss.

Deodorant

This, to me, is one of the most important and what I am relentless on with my family. You’ve gotta change the deodorant, at least! You put deodorant right over your lymph nodes every day! This one is important!

My husband and I have tried AT LEAST 17 different kinds of deodorant. It’s been an exhaustive search. He rashes really easily with certain ingredients, and well, he’s a man — it’s gotta work — the hippie make-your-own stuff doesn’t work on him. I, myself, can pretty much get away with any brand, but I wanted to find a brand that we both liked and could use — making shopping easier.

The brand we ended up loving after what felt like a year of searching is Schmidt’s Deodorant. The Rose Vanilla scent is my favorite and the Ylang-ylang sent is B’s favorite. He liked the Charcoal scent the best but its black and stained clothes, so, bye.

Wipes

People use wipes mostly for faces and bottoms — at least thats how I use them… Anyways I used to use Ponds make up remover wipes and Charmin for the restroom. But there are SO MANY chemicals in these. I am appalled they allow them for use on children but that sums up why we’re here.

Young Living Seedlings Wipes are by far my favorite general wipe (can be used for face or bottom) and there is a whole seedlings line for babes (linked below). But as far as makeup removing wipes go, HANDS DOWN — Beautycounter Make-up Removing Wipes are theee best — they are completely biodegradable! (my favorite phrase) — and they work well and smell amazing. Pampers Pure does a great job too! I was skeptical at first because I’m neurotic about all of this but I did the research and it’s a clean product!

Little Ones Need Safer (too)

I love all of these products not because I use them on my own family — don’t have any littles in my house just yet! — but I love them because I love these companies and my mama friends say they’re great products! Pampers also just came out with a Pampers Pure line, and after doing some checking on the ingredients, they’re clean! Very exciting to see a larger company begin to offer clean products. The companies and products I love; Young Living Seedlings line, Beautycounter Family (for infants + big kids too), Pampers Pure, and Honest Baby.

Be careful with Honest Baby though! — unfortunately, only some of their products are clean. Products like laundry detergent and some lotions are not, which is a bummer. I love the Honest Company because they are in all of the stores and they’re very accessible — you just have to do your own research with their products. Which is exhausting, but also the #1 reason why I’m so into companies that are 100% clean. (i.e. Young Living and BC)

Candles

When it comes to candles — if you don’t want to make your own at home — just don’t burn them. They are one of the worst culprits of chemical exposure inside our homes. I will use unscented soy candles when I can find them when I’m craving a hygee evening watching movies with B. Outside of that I diffuse everything. I have multiple in my house and usually, they’re all on. I’ve been through the gamut of diffusers on Amazon, this one is my favorite. But the Young Living diffuser s are by far the best quality. A lot of the Amazon ones will break within a year of me buying them. Maybe it’s overuse? No idea. I love the Aria Diffuser because it has a remote and it’s pretty — I’ve had a lot of unsightly diffusers I try to hide and it’s more fun to have it out and about.

For Home

I was a Lysol ADDICT. I loved it. Everything got Lysol’ed before I found out how toxic it is. The first thing I tried from Young Living was The Thieves line and it’s SO good. The smell is phenomenal, and it works better than Lysol in experiments (see below for an experiment my friend did — fair warning, it is disgusting). The concentrate isn’t cheap, but it makes 20+ bottles of cleaner and then you use it to make things like stain sprays etc. I bought the bottle I have now 2 years ago and it’s still kickin’. Thieves has a laundry detergent that people love, but I haven’t tried it yet! The one we love and use is this one from Amazon — and it’s made in Ohio (our home state) which makes us happy.

For the Guys

My husband likes Every Man Jack products and I have heard amazing things about Beautycounter’s new Counter Man line but he’s yet to try it! I’ll update ya when he does.

images provided by: thrivemarket.com, beautycounter.com, amazon.com, honest.com, youngliving.com, livingspunky.com, eoproducts.com, @pamperspure instagram

we spent a weekend exploring the desert — palm springs, joshua tree, superstition mountain — all fun-filled with good food and good company. Continue reading “desert road tour” →

we are lucky enough to celebrate our first married valentine’s day twice this year Continue reading “solana” →

i couldn’t wait any longer to share this amazing day. family and friends Continue reading “party of a lifetime” →

after one of the most relaxing, perfectly unproductive holiday seaons we’ve ever had, i needed to get out of the house! this short day trip to Borrego Springs from San Diego was the perfect little day trip and an amazing hike.

i cannot describe how beautiful the desert colors are and my photos truly do not do this park justice.

the trail is called Borrego Palm Canyon and was easily accessible with the trailhead off of a campground — vehicle entry and $5.

a family we spoke too said it is their tradition to do the hike yearly around the holidays and usually they see wildlife including big horn sheep. the hike is centered around an oasis and when there is water, it attracts a ton of wildlife. unfortunately, the hike was dry when we went but we plan to return during the spring to hopefully see some blooms and wildlife.

brendan and i visited a pop-up museum with interactive art installations last weekend. it’s bones were nothing more than a temporary ventilated steel structure, but the installations were some of the most magnificent i have seen. i am still thinking of and talking with brendan about our experience weeks later — it is all too wonderful not to share the small piece i recorded. there were at least a dozen pieces. hoping to catch it again in he future.

follow them @wonderspaces

my mother in law visits us at least once a year, wherever we may be! she always visits for close to two weeks and it is lovely to have enough time with her that taking an afternoon nap or traveling for a few days to an amazing destination within driving distance isn’t out of the question — it always provides quality time.

her last visit was as wonderful as it always is.

she was able to attend class with me one of the days, is was a theory and practice-based course. the day she attended we were taught to weave baskets using rope and yarn — a craft that is a “right of passage” in the occupational therapy profession due to its history in providing therapeutic interventions via arts and crafts. this was actually very challenging enjoyable for the both of us and i loved that she was able to see my school and how wonderful the faculty is.

this visit happened to run over the 4th of july, and it was one of the best holiday’s we’ve had possibly ever. we were invited to a family friend’s beach house in san clemente and spent the day relaxing and enjoying their beach with amazing food and company. there was even an unexpected air show from the base towards the end of the day that was really awe-inspiring.

we also drove up to the Capistrano and completed the tour at the once mission now a museum — so much beauty and history lie in that place — it was really beyond beautiful.

after the mission, we continued driving out to dana point to catch the ferry to Catalina island. we planned on exploring — we did a little exploring and found long weekend of good eating and drinking. it was all a true staycation. we visited the island museum, full of history and at the time a chihuly exhibit, both of which were well worth our time. the island is partially known for its beautiful tile production. we found a few i couldn’t leave behind and are now in our house, the holden rod and red-tiled photo was a floor of an italian restaurant where we stopped for a drink. there was a golf cart rental company which allowed you to take the cart around the harbor for an hour in lieu of hiking the same trail. some of the sights rivaled the caribbean. there are so many areas of the island to explore, we cannot wait to return for some snorkeling and backpacking.

regardless what we choose to explore when Joni visits, we always have such a wonderful time. We love our time with her so much and cherish her greatly.